friends – Page 2 – Ken's Fireside Chat

Christmas Past

December 11, 2017December 11, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

God so loved us that He gave us the greatest gift, His Son, so that whoever believes in Him,….will have eternal life. (John 3:16)

My first Christmas memory was being awakened by my mother and, along with my sister, being led into the living room where this wondrous tree was glowing with large colored lights. The brightly wrapped gifts under the tree were almost an afterthought. Opening the gifts to find out what was inside was great fun, but playing with the boxes and the wrapping paper was even more fun. I was 4 and my sister was 2.

My next memory was of the following year. I discovered tinsel and threw handfuls of it all over the tree. This year I had a better idea of what to expect from this guy called “Santa.” So, I got up at 4:00, put on all the Christmas lights, ate breakfast, organized the presents by name into nice neat piles and then watched TV until everyone woke up. Mom and Dad were not all that appreciative of my unsolicited help.

At age 6, I discovered a hidden hoard of presents in my mother’s closet. Somehow, she managed to convince me that some gifts came from her and Dad, but the rest were delivered by Santa. I was always amazed at the number of gifts under the tree. Of course, my parents were very imaginative. Mittens were wrapped one hand to a box and a toy requiring 4 batteries would fill 5 separate boxes. Christmas stockings made their debut this year. They were Dad’s real socks (freshly laundered).

During the summer I turned 7, I got into the first and only fight of my life. It was with one of my best friends because, right there on my front lawn, he informed me that Santa Clause wasn’t real. Boy, did I feel foolish when Mom admitted he was right. By the way, I lost the fight, so it was a bad day all around. Somehow, we managed to keep the truth about Santa from sister for a few more years.

When I was 11, Mom and Dad were pleasantly surprised (shocked!) to find themselves adding a new baby girl to the family. I was a big brother–again. So, for the next 7 or 8 years, we went through the entire children’s Christmas all over again. I was now at an age where it was more fun watching her reactions to everything Christmas than it was opening gifts myself.

When I was 12, my dad found a picture of some snowmen caroling that he liked, and he asked me to help him make an outdoor sign out from it. I always liked art, so I painted the images on a 4 x 8 piece of plywood and then painted “Christmas Greetings” at the top and “The Knowltons” at the bottom. We fastened that sign to the side of the house and shined a spotlight on it. He used that sign until they moved away nearly 20 years later. The sign now hangs from my fence wishing all who see it, “Christmas Greetings.”

I’ve always loved the excitement and festivity surrounding Christmas. Getting together with family and friends has always been one of the highlights of the season. But once I became a young adult, I began to realize that the reason for this season was more than family, friends or gifts. It really was about the birth of a tiny baby in a straw-filled cattle trough, attended his mother, his stepfather, some shepherds and a few animals. Yet his birth was so amazing that angels sang and kings traveled to bring him gifts. That child was, is and always will be the greatest gift any of us will ever receive–one that no one can ever buy and one that need never be exchanged. It’s been delivered and is sitting at your heart’s doorstep, waiting for you to pick it up and claim it. That’s what Christmas is all about.

I know too much to do anything!

November 30, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

“Be doers of the Word…not merely hearers.” (James 1:22)

With thanks to “The Word for You Today:”

A businessman known for his ruthlessness, arrogance and religiosity told Mark Twain that before he died, he intended to visit the Holy Land, climb Mount Sinai, and read the Ten Commandments aloud. “I have a better idea,” Twain replied. “Just stay here in Boston and keep them.”

Most of us would rather think about what we don’t know than act on what we do know. The growth in the internet, 24-hour television and mobile phones means that we now receive five times as much information every day as we did in 1986. But that pales into insignificance compared with the growth in the amount of information we churn out through email, twitter, social networking sites and text messages. It’s been said that until 1900 human knowledge doubled approximately every century. By the end of World War II knowledge was doubling every 25 years. Today on average, human knowledge is doubling every 13 months. According to IBM, the build out of the “internet of things” will lead to the doubling of knowledge every 12 hours.

That’s too incredible to even imagine. So, our problem isn’t a lack of information. It’s knowing too much and doing too little. Here’s an everyday example: People would rather debate the merits of proteins vs. carbs, French cooking vs. vegetarian, lifting weights vs. cardio, than change how they eat. The bottom line is simple: Expend more calories than you take in.

In the same way, some people would rather debate church doctrine than simply do what the Bible says. Instead of reading and talking about the idea of living a “good” life, practice loving a difficult person; try forgiving someone; give some money away; stop and say thanks; encourage a friend; bless and enemy; when you’re wrong, say, “I’m sorry.” Face it: You already know more than you’re ever going to use. And nothing turns people off faster than someone with a head full of knowledge, who lacks grace and character. It’s the same today as it was when James wrote, “Be doers of the Word and not merely hearers.”

Financial Slavery

November 20, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

“…Anyone who borrows is a slave to the lender.” (Proverbs 22:7)

I’ve always been rather fanatical about keeping track of our family finances. We have a detailed monthly budget that we usually stick to. We update and balance our checkbook regularly—often each day. We use credit cards, but always pay them off the same day as the purchase. Yet, twice I’ve had a problem with one store credit card. Both times I forgot to follow my “pay it off immediately” rule and, for some reason, I never received their emailed monthly statement. Getting late notices (somehow those managed to reach me) and knowing how our credit score will be affected is driving me crazy. This store has me at their mercy.

This reminded me of a story I read about a handyman who had been called out to a millionaire’s mansion to refinish the floors. The rich man’s wife said, “Be especially careful with this dining room table. It goes back to Louis XVI. The handyman replied, “That’s nothing. If I don’t make a payment by next Friday, my whole living room set goes back to the furniture store.”

It’s been said that the average person today drives a bank-finances car, over a bond-financed road, on gasoline they bought with a credit card, to a department store to open another charge account, so they can fill their house that’s mortgaged for thirty years to the bank, with furniture purchased on an installment plan.

People seem to be divided into three categories: the “haves”; the “have-nots”; and the “have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.” It’s not wrong to borrow money. It’s just wrong to put yourself in a position where you cannot repay it. According to Psalm 37:21, “The wicked borrow and do not repay.” And for New Englanders (and everyone else), that would be “wicked” bad.

Use it or lose it!

November 14, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

My nephew owns an apple orchard. He manages several more. He also has blueberries and hopes to have peaches and plums. He’s in the finishing up stage of this year’s crop. There are certain qualities that make a good apple or any other fruit. When he grows his fruit, he wants to sell it, so people can eat them. The fruit isn’t just for show.

Suppose you were to stop at a roadside produce market with your heart set on buying fresh vegetables. You see homegrown tomatoes, squash, cucumbers, and several varieties of peppers. Just as you start to select your items, the farmer who owns the stand says, “Sorry, this produce isn’t for sale. I just like to grow it and enjoy looking at it until it rots. Then I throw it away.”

You probably have never run into that situation (at least I hope not!) and never will, because farmers and customers know that produce is for consuming. Sure, it’s beautiful to look at, but the purpose is to bring nutrition and health to people.

Our lives are a lot like those vegetables. There are certain qualities that each of should have love, joy peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness gentleness and self-control. Just like fruit and vegetables, these are not for show. They are for sharing with others. Otherwise, they are like fruit that was left to rot or not even grown to begin with. So, shine yourself up, and give those fruits to others. They will feed and nourish them and give you the chance to continue to grow and provide more fruit.

^22-23But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

^23-24Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified. (Galatians 5:22-24)

Just do it!

November 12, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

Have you heard the one about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody?

It seems there was a rather important job that needed doing and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

You’ve probably heard this story before. And, like me, you’ve probably been a part of a similar story as at least one of the characters. But, the way many of our lives are heading, don’t be like any of these. Our cities and towns, our nation, the world–are headed in dangerous directions. Somebody needs to begin to do something. Anybody can do it. Everybody knows it needs doing, but nobody seems to be doing anything about it. Be the one who does it—whatever it is. It would be a good start.

When you help someone out, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it – quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes. helps you out (Matthew 6:3-4)

Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t do it are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. (James 1:23-24)

Leave no one left out or left behind

October 28, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

One of my pet peeves while I was teaching, coaching and leading a youth group was the impatience some kids had with the other members of the groups who weren’t quite as talented, as athletic or as quick to learn something. It made those kids feel like they had nothing of real value to offer others.

An unknown poet once wrote,

One song can spark a moment;

One flower can wake a dream

One tree can start a forest;

One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship;

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea;

One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation;

One sunbeam lights a room.

One candle wipes out darkness;

One laugh can conquer gloom.

One step can start a journey;

One word can start a prayer.

One hope can raise our spirits;

One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom;

One heart can know what’s true.

One life can make a difference;

You see…it’s true.

The question we should ask ourselves is, which one are you?

It was the best of times…

October 23, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

You’ve all been to the course and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. (I Corinthians 9:24-25)

With apologies to Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times…”

I recently had the pleasure and great honor to have two of my All-State Cross-Country teams inducted into their high school athletic Hall of Fame.

I took even greater pleasure and felt honored by the stories and memories several of them shared with the audience. To them, running was fun. It was cathartic. It became an attitude—a way of life. One they learned from those who ran before them and then passed on to those who followed.

I think the most notable thing during that time of sharing was what I didn’t hear. They rarely mentioned the meets they won or the championships they earned. If there was a funny story involved, or a lesson to be learned from a particular race, then it was alright to share it. Otherwise, the topics ranged from the stories they shared, the friendships formed, the lessons learned and the effect their running experience had on their lives.

These were guys that had married, had children, had furthered their education and worked at a variety of jobs. But they all started as kids from a little school in north-central Massachusetts.

Narragansett Regional is a small Massachusetts high school with a population of 382 students. This opposed to, let’s say, Brockton High which checks in with 4,174 students. The numbers range down from there for all 1,854 schools in Massachusetts. This gives you some idea of the enormity of their accomplishment. But we had one “advantage.” By a special dispensation from the State, 7^th and 8^th-graders were eligible to try out for the varsity teams. Imagine the “advantage” that gave us—running 12 and 13-year-olds against teams with 30-40 members, many whom were upper classmen. Not only that, but our athletes could also choose football, soccer or golf. It left a small pool of athletes to choose from.

But compete we did. From 7^th grade on. And each year, we got better. And soon, the older runners were looking out for the younger. Members of the same family began to join. Former runners became coaches. A tradition was created. And the expectations began to rise to the point where any loss was considered an insult to the program.

I suppose there was a certain amount of arrogance involved. But is it arrogance if you really are better than everyone else? We would always “jog” the course before any meet. Intimidating? How about having brutal workouts the day before a meet? Or climbing Mt. Monadnock twice the day of a meet? Or running in championship meets with a broken arm or a broken toe? We worked hard and believed we worked harder than anyone else. Ergo, we should win. If we didn’t, it meant that we needed to work harder. And we did. And, by the way, our girls’ team was right with us each day working just as hard. We had dozens of trails we named that ranged from ¾ of a mile to 10+ miles. We ran on trails, on dirt roads, on tar roads, through swamps and rivers, on trails and off trails, up 60-degree inclines and down the same ones. We ran distance, middle distance and sprints. We did repeat workout for every distance up to a mile. And we did it regardless of the weather. It actually seemed like the meets were our easy days

I know this must sound like all work and no play. We worked hard and played hard—nearly every day. Yet, it was fun. We enjoyed beating on each other and ragging on each other and sometimes even fighting with each other. But we all had each other’s backs. We could harass each other, but anyone from the outside did so at their own risk.

Notice I used “we” through most of this writing. The teams we honored treated me as more than just a coach and I truly appreciated it. So, they worked their tails off and I went along for the ride.

And what a ride it was!

Where the Magic Happens

September 26, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” (Mark Twain)

Don’t be afraid…just believe. (Mark 5:36)

For the past month or so, I have been searching for members of two of my former Cross-Country teams. I probably could have said two of my “old” teams since one was from 1979 and the other from 1983. Let’s see,..that would make them all in their mid to late 50’s. How on earth did they get so old! They could be parents or possibly even grandparents by now! How they must have changed over the years!

Some I have been able to stay in touch with over the years, but most I have not seen since they graduated from high school. Each of those teams will be honored by being inducted into the Narragansett Regional Hall of Fame on October 21 in recognition of the All-State Championships that each team won. While their accomplishment obviously doesn’t measure up in importance to recent hurricanes, Harvey, Irma, Jose, Maria or to the earthquake in Mexico, it’s still an impressive feat in the local scheme of things. How many people can claim to have been a part of such an accomplishment. Today, being the very best at something is often considered too much of a challenge. We want more teams to feel like they’re the best, so we have leagues, divisions and classes so that a team can win over a smaller selection of teams–teams that may be smaller or less talented than the one, very best team. We don’t want our children to feel less adequate or less appreciated, so everyone gets a trophy or a ribbon.

The young men (actually, middle-aged men) that will be recognized for their accomplishment really were the best in the entire state. There were no divisions or classes for those races. It was simply them against the rest of the state and the state lost. Was it easy? Definitely not! They had to devote time, energy and lots of sweat. I’m proud of each and every one of them. And I’m equally proud of all those who, over the years, tried, but never reached that pinnacle of success. Nevertheless, they made the effort. they, too, worked hard to the best of their abilities and earned personal success. I never had the ability to run fast for long distances, but by just being around these hardworking and dedicated young men, I became a better runner and, ultimately a better person.

So, as Mark Twain also said, “Throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Who knows where your greatest success may lie?

Better With Age

April 1, 2017 NRHS Class of 1968Leave a comment

young then old

Once I was young, but now I am old and yet I have never seen God abandon a good man or his children. (Psalm 37:25).

Have you ever noticed that when you get up in the morning or when you go to bed at night you don’t see any difference in what you saw the last time you looked. Age has a way of sneaking up on you. One day you’re 20 years old with your whole life ahead of you. Then, suddenly, you’re beyond middle age and in the twilight of your life. For those of you who haven’t reached those advanced years, remember, they’re coming faster than you can imagine. Think of the children you have and how quickly they are growing up. Think of all the things you’ve always wanted to do, but never seem to have the time to do them. Since you can’t change the past and have no control over the future, remember to actually live in the present. You’ll never have another chance to do so.

When I was younger and played basketball, I had a vertical leap of nearly 30 inches. Now I’m lucky if I can clear a piece of paper…on a good day. I could eat anything I wanted in any quantity at any time. Now I eat much less, have to avoid certain foods and shouldn’t eat after 7:00 PM. When I was a kid, my parents would get after me because when I would go to bed, I would take a flashlight and read under the covers for hours. Now I almost always fall asleep when I read at night–sometimes with my book still in my hand. I’ve even been known to fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. In high school, I could type 67 words per minute. Now my fingers are lucky if I can get through a sentence without having stop and correct several errors. (I made six different mistakes in this last sentence.)

When you feel that you’re approaching the twilight of your life, remember that twilight occurs not just as the sun is setting, but also when it rises in the morning. Looking back at your life is okay, but looking ahead is what will keep you young. Rise to meet it with a smile and a spring in your step, ready face the world and what it has for you that day.

Just some thoughts on getting older….

“Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln

“Any one who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” Henry Ford

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” Mark Twain

So appreciate where you are in life, make each day count, keep learning and do it all with a smile on your face. Not only will your life be more fulfilling, but so will the lives of those around you.

Keep on trying.

March 20, 2017 NRHS Class of 19681 Comment

keep on trying

Don’t be afraid or discouraged because I am with you. (Isaiah 41:13)

As a former teacher, I can’t begin to tell you how much I hated the phrase, “I can’t do it.” And it seemed the older we got, the easier it became to say it.

When we were born, we immediately began to learn new things. Whether it was learning to eat on our own, learning to talk, learning to walk, or learning to dress ourselves, everything was brand new to us. And no matter how silly we looked or how funny we sounded while making those first attempts, we kept on trying until we got it right. When we learned to talk, we began another learning experience; asking questions. We asked anything and everything. We never asked ourselves if what we were asking was silly. We just kept asking-endlessly.

We were also never afraid to try new things either. I remember eating bugs to see if they tasted good. Jumping out of our second-story window into a pile of snow seemed like a good idea at the time. Bringing home a pocket full of worms was my gift to my mom. But somehow as we got older we were less willing to try new things.

The girls’ cross-country team at my alma mater began its first season shortly after I became the assistant running coach. The team consisted of a couple of upper-class girls and several junior-high girls. Never having coached girls distance runners before, we weren’t sure of exactly how to coach them. So we simply trained them with the boys’ team and expected them to keep up. Since they didn’t know any better, they did a great job of keeping up. They ended up trashing most of their female counterparts because they believed that was what they were supposed to do. They had no fears or doubts about themselves.

The very successful coach of the UConn womens’ basketball team, Geno Auriemma, deals with each year’s new recruits with this admonition, “Don’t tell me you can’t do something. I’ll tell you when you can’t so something. The team has won 11 national champions since 1995 and are currently trying to win their twelfth. Along the way, they have compiled winning streaks of 75, 90 and currently at 108 and counting.

I guess the bottom line is don’t be afraid to ask questions or to try something new. We should always try to keep learning new things and to experiment with new activities. Who knows what kind of new success and fulfillment you may find. You’ll never find out unless you try.